What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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