What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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