What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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