What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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