What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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