What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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