What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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