What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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