What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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