What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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