What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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