What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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