What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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