What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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