What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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