What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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