What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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