What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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