What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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