What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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