What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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