What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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