What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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