What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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