What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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