What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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