What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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