What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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