What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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