What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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