What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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