What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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