What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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