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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Porkchop
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Old chemists never die,
they just stop reacting.
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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