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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.
I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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