What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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