What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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