What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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