What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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