What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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