What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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