What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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