What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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