What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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