What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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