What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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