What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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