What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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