What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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