What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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