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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"
and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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