What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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