What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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