What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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