What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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