What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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