What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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