What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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