What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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