What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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