What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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