What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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