What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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