What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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