What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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