What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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