What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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