What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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