What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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