What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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