What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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