What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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