What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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