What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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