What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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