What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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