What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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