What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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