What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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