What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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