What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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