What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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