What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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