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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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