What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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