What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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