What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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