What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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