What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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