What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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