What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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