What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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