What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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