What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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