What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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