What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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