What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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