What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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