What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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