What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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