What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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