What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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