What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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