What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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