What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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