What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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