What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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