What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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