What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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