What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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