What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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