What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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