What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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