What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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