What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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