What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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