What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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