What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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