What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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