What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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