What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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