What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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