What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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