What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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