What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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