What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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