What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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