What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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