What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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