What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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