What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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