What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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