What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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