What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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