What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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