What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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