What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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