What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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