What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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