What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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