What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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