What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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