What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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