What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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