What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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