What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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