What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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