What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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