What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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