What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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