What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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