What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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