What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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