What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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