What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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