What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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