What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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