What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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