What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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